People who write reviews.

Okay, so the people I am talking about here are the kind of people to go to a great little steakhouse that we love, order a fish special and then complain about it the WHOLE NIGHT continuing to complain by writing a review online to try to put other people off.

For a start, WHO THE HELL GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO GO TO A STEAKHOUSE FAMOUS FOR IT’S STEAK, TO ORDER A FISH PLATTER?

Secondly, I write reviews, but apparently not on the things I should be. We recently returned from a 10 day holiday to Gran Canaria and stayed in a small resort called Cordial Green Golf. Can I just say, the reviews we read were not all that great but the photos and write ups for the actual resort were so (as it looked the least tacky and possibly the newest on the island) we went.

And you know what? It was great! I mean, it was three star so there weren’t chocolates on your pillows or a floating pool bar or your own personal butler but hey; we stayed in a clean, tidy, compact little two story apartment they call a ‘bungalow’, the two pools were IMMACULATE and one of the two was huge, we spoke to a couple of cats who lived there presumably to keep the pests down, (of which we never saw a single nasty creature so they were doing a good job) the bar on site was nice, just a bar you know, the food was really good too- we had a sandwich for one lunch, hamburger for another, bar food, another night I had the most fantastic sirloin steak (and I like good steak) that we went back so I could make OH have one too. We very rarely ate in the apartment as, to be honest, what’s the point in going on holiday to go grocery shopping, cooking for yourself and doing dishes? We went out for two meals a day and as it;s so cheap out there, barely noticed the cost of the taxis to get out and back.

We’ve sadly read some reviews of the resort since returning and get madder and madder every time we do. This holiday was a cheap getaway. That’s it. Our 10 day stay probably equated to about £200-300ish with the flights taking up the rest of our budget. I mean, come on, what do you expect for that? I’m telling you, I’ve paid more and had worse. I think some people want everything for nothing. One reviewer apparently fell down the stairs during the night on a return from the bathroom. Hmm, we tried it and to be honest, to deliberately bypass the bed you’re trying to get back to to then fall down stairs that are big and obvious is a feat we just couldn’t accomplish. This reviewer then got taken to hospital because of her stupidity and was appalled when the hotel management didn’t visit to sit by her sickbed, ‘apologise and bring her flowers’. Why? Why would he? YOU fell down the stairs. YOU. Your clumsiness, illogical movement and frankly ridiculous sense of direction helped YOU fall down the stairs.

I can bet she’s visited a few foreign hospitals in her time.

Another reviewer wanted compensation from the resort for ’30 euros of groceries spoiled’ when there was a huge power cut one afternoon. When the resort wouldn’t comply she went to a holiday Rep to demand money from her. Lets just say, in my line of work, I also meet goons like this who demand things when they’re mad. Who do they demand compo off if there is a power cut in their hometown in England and £300-400 of frozen food is spoiled? Hmm…

We’re also told in my line of business that if a customer is dissatisfied with a product or service they will tell at least 10 other people about it. Probably write to your head office too no doubt. If a customer is satisfied or really pleased with a product or service they usually tell 2 friends. Two. So in the grand scheme of things there is one good review to every five. Even if you have a thousand happy customers, you’ll hear back from the few who are NOT happy.

Sucks right?

I know some businesses are not up to scratch and some products aren’t worth what you paid for them but be realistic in your expectations people, if you pay £4.99 for and ipod speaker, realise it will not last forever and will not be as good as a product worth £499.00. Come on! Seriously.

Well from now on, when I’m pleased with a product or service in a store, enjoyed a meal in a restaurant or a stay in a hotel I WILL review it.

I urge everyone else to do the same and help rid review sights consumers and businesses rely on, of hundreds of negative and whingy reviews. If you love it, TELL people about it! There should be more balance.

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