Ha ha, dramatic no? Well, in some respects I’m being completely honest but only in regards to interpersonal relationships. This has been discussed over and over and over in the past few Facebook years but today, its even easier and cheaper to ruin relationships with the buffer of technology.
Dating online… Great idea and who’d have thought the online dating industry would become so huge and make so much money? Meeting like-minded folks used to be a bit hit-and-miss at a bar or in the library or at university. Now, all you need to do is type who you are into a small box (no more than 300 characters please) and voilà! You’re married three months later! Great stuff. I met OH through friends who I trusted to know what My Type is. I mean, who now trusts their friends to do that? Not the 3 million married-through-meeting-on-a-dating-webiste that’s for sure. We went on dates to get to know each other. We talked. Sometimes is was awkward, sometimes it was Hellish Fun, but the mistakes and the honesty of making them is what drew us together. Being a profile online isn’t honest. It’s calculated. It’s edited. It’s not the full picture. It’s not doing you justice and you might find someone wonderful but the finding them part won’t be half as fun. Surely. No one ENJOYS being single now; dancing the night away with your girlfriends and just happening to notice the cute guy in the corner noticing you having fun. Call me old fashioned but what happened to a good round of flirting across the bar and a dash of passion and chemistry? The slow dance of seduction…? Hmm… maybe it’s just not trendy right now. Maybe people are too busy for that. They WANT IT ALL and they WANT IT NOW. Am I right?
Here’s another. Friends connecting from all around the world; friends you went to school with and haven’t spoken to for years! They’re in Italy now, married to a millionaire with a yacht in the Med and and apartment in Central Rome. Or they’re touring the world ‘finding themselves’ and posting photos every inch of the way. They’re in Malawi building schools and doing good in the world. They’re having babies and getting married and doing all these incredible things and you can watch it all the way! The fact you only see what they want you to see, that you only see the good (I mean, come on, who posts boring rubbish or sad stuff?) doesn’t even enter your mind. You see this picture perfect (thanks Instagram) life that you compare with your own. You don’t realise that apartment isn’t actually theirs, they rent, the yacht isn’t the husbands, it’s his Dad’s, they had the biggest argument last week about god-knows-what-crap and haven’t spoken properly since, Malawi has mosquitos, ‘finding yourself’ is what your scared friend does when their life has changed so dramatically so quickly that they don’t know how to process it… You know why you didn’t keep in touch with these folks in the first place right? Because you didn’t need them. You didn’t need this drama. You are content and happy just living your life with random Facebook statuses about falling over the cat and the boyfriend asking you if you want a fire extinguisher for Valentines Day (true story). You are happy. Forget the drama. Want Drama? Watch Greys Anatomy.
Texting. This one has caused trouble for everyone and that funny sarcastic comment in your head doesn’t sound sarcastic in text form, it just sounds mean. People don’t ever read the text with your voice in their head, they always read it wrong. They don’t ever understand the inflection because there is none. It’s text for goodness sake, it’s flat. It’s voiceless. It’s not you. What ever happened to a phone call? Or a letter? I don’t know anyone who could successfully compose a love letter. Hmm. Shame.
Pinterest. It’s funny how it’s only just hitting the UK mainstream (I am your average Miss Jane Bloggs) and how every women (cause come on, it really is just women who hoard things like knitting patterns when they don’t even know how to knit and recipes that they’ll “use next Tuesday” and forget they have) is addicted to the site. I am. It’s killing my relationship slowly. Like a shiny, very well groomed, mouthwatering, never before seen, why didn’t I think of that Python compressing conversation, squeezing it and smothering it until we both just sit, clicking away and not even looking at each other.
Blah. TIME OUT.
I have worked too damn hard at this and got too far to leave OH for Pinterest. That’s it. Decision made. The thing that got me to this point is my bloody Kindle Fire. I love that little beastie. Books. Apps. Web. Everything I have ever wanted on seven inches of beautiful LCD screen that you can’t use out in the sun cause you can’t see. I am putting it down more. I pick it up when OH is working or on Facebook himself, then when he’s finished he turns around and sees me on the Kindle and decides I’m busy so he surfs the web. Constant circle, I see he’s busy and I keep Pinning… Vicious vicious circle. I will prevail.
Tablet computers for £80 at Lidl, Argos, Morrisons, Everywhere; make it easier and easier to escape reality and more and more damaging to the connections of friendship, spouses, kids. Relationships you need to BE PRESENT FOR.
I really must take my own advice. No Tech after 7? Right. Lets try.